Oz and Barbie don't work well together
by PetiteEnigma
Summary: It's just pure crack with other musicals, cartoons, and the toy I loathe mixed in. Please R&R!


_**Disclaimer:**Wicked isn't mine and all credit for the original storyline goes to my friend Kendall. I just stole it from an email she sent me and added a bit to it. _

_**A/N- **Just some crazy random fun. I'll give credit to everything at the end, but see if you can figure out where things came from or who things are._

* * *

"Holy flying monkeys, Elphaba!" Fiyero screeched and grabbed one of the green girl's arms.

"Flying monkeys are not holy!" Nessarose angrily wheeled out onto the street, but Boq pulled her back into the Life Café' where The Bohemians were performing their hit: La Vie Boheme. The Bohemians were a famous band of mysterious origins, which had changed the name of the café to the Life Café.

"What is it, oh faithful sidekick Fiyero?" Elphaba asked, trying to shake him off.

"Partner. Not sidekick." Ignoring her squirming, he pointed to the anorexic blonde bimbo on the roof, "The fiendish Barbie girl strikes again!"

"Le gasp!! What has she done now!!" it was now Elphaba's turn to grab Fiyero's arm.

"She's pinkifying the Emerald City!" At a realization of how close they were, the two quickly stopped clutching each other.

"Nooooooo! Now she has gone too far!! I greenified that City ages ago! How dare she pinkify it!!" The Wizard popped out of a window and disappeared once more.

"Quickly, Elphaba, you must use your magic Broom O' Doom to get to the Emerald City! The degreenification process has already begun!" Fiyero pointed to the section of the City that had turned a blinding white.

Yes!! Come, Fiyero!! We fly!!...Dadadada Da Da Dadada!!

:AT THE EMERALD CITY:

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" The scantily clad slut laughed more idiotically than evilly, "I, the evil Barbie girl, have invaded the Emerald City and successfully degreenified it! Now the pinkification process can begin!!"

"Stop right there!" Elphaba landed, holding the broom (o' doom as named by Fiyero) threateningly.

"Le gasp! It's Elphaba and her faithful sidekick Fiyero!" Barbie exclaimed.

"Partner! Not sidekick!" he shouted but no one seemed to notice.

"That's right Barbie girl! I hereby claim this City in the name of the west!" the green cackled.

"Too late! I have already claimed it in the name of the North!" Glinda came floating by in her bubble, but it was quickly popped by a tree branch.

"You can't claim us! We live here!" a man called from the street corner where most of the people in the Emerald City had organized to watch.

"Do you have a flag?" Glinda inquired.

"We don't need a bloody flag, this is our city!" a second man yelled.

"No flag, no city. You can't have one. That's the rule…that I've just made up…and I'm backing it up with this gun I stole from the Gale Force." The Good pulled out a rifle.

"I claim this planet in the name of Mars. Isn't that lovely?" Marvin the Martian came shuffling along.

"Shut up Martian man!" Barbie threw a hot pink shoe at him, but he got into his little spaceship in time, "Well, Elphaba, just how do you plan to stop me?"

"With the greatest power in the world!" she slammed the end of her broom to the ground.

"You don't mean?!" Barbie gasped in horror.

"Yes…country music!!" Elphaba made a sound that was a cross between a cackle and a 'yeehaw!'.

Elphaba's broom turned into a stereo that instantly started playing every Carrie Underwood song ever written.

"Noooooooooooooo! My one weakness!" the plastic blonde covered her ears and repeatedly mouthed: 'make it stop! Make it stop!'.

"Yes!! Eat Underwood, Pinky!!" at this Pinky came out of a hole in a wall, but Brain pulled him back in and whispered something that sounded like: 'it isn't time yet.'.

"Yeah, eat Underwood Pinky!" Fiyero chose now to speak up.

"Shut up, Fiyero! Now, let's see what's under the mask!" the green whacked him over the head and indicated the mask no one had noticed before and ripped it off Barbie's face.

"Le gasp! Glinda!" But Glinda was in her reformed bubble above them.

"Wait there's another mask!" Fiyero shouted right next to Elphaba's ear.

"Good eyesight, Fiyero! And I think you've made me deaf in one ear!" Elphaba proceeded to rip off a series of masks.

"Le gasp! Madame Morrible!" said Fiyero.

Le gasp!! Chistery!" Elphaba's pointed jaw dropped.

"Le gasp! Nessa!" Fiyero was sure it wasn't because the person was standing.

"Le gasp! Your mom!" the green knew it certainly wasn't her mother.

"Le gasp! My mom!" he realized who it was.

Le gasp!—Wait...Fiyero?! He's standing right next to me!" she was clearly confused.

Fiyero waved and mouthed 'hi mom!'.

"Now, let's see who you really are!!" and with that Elphaba ripped off the final mask.

"Holy Shiz and a side of Munchkins, it's the Wizard!" Fiyero's jaw dropped.

"Shiz is not holy!" Nessa screamed from inside the Life Café where Boq had blocked the door with an overturned table and several chairs.

"Yes!! I admit!! Pink is my most favorite color in the entire world! Second only to rainbows!" the Wizard tapped his top hat and it turned Pepto Bismol pink. Another tap and it turned onto a swirl of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, and indigo stripes.

"Rainbows!" Elphaba was laughing her pointed hat off and rolling in the street.

"Hey, I'm not gay, I just really like rainbows." He brushed it off happily.

Nicky popped out of a manhole in the middle of the street, "If you were gay, that'd be okay—"

"Nicky! Wrong show!" Rod pulled him back into the sewer.

They threw him into his balloon, which landed back in his palace. Darn autopilot.

After the green had made the Emerald City emerald once more and returned her broom to its broom o' doom state, Fiyero asked, "So what do we do now, Elphaba?"

"The same thing we do after every escapade, Fiyero..." she said.

"Try to take over the world?" he guessed with a shrug and a smile.

"That's what _we _do!" Brain squeaked, crossing his furry little white mouse arms and glaring at the human.

"No, you moron! We dance!!" she pulled him to her and they danced all night.

THE END!!

* * *

"Oh my head…" Elphaba sat up in bed and rubbed the back of her head, "that is the _last_ time I ever go out drinking!"

"Who said it was the alcohol?" asked Barbie.

The green screamed.

* * *

"Elphaba can dance!" Fiyero shot out of bed.

From between his two pillows Avaric mumbled, "Go back to sleep; it was just a nightmare."

He obliged, but whispered to the wall beside his bed: "It was the most beautiful nightmare I've ever had."

* * *

"Elphie! Elphie wake up!" Galinda shook her roommate repeatedly.

"I just had the strangest dream. We were older, you had changed your name, and…that's it."

"No it isn't, I can see it in your eyes." The blonde pouted.

"You won't like it."

"Try me."

"Fiyero and I were together."

The blonde hit the floor.

* * *

"What the—"Nessarose looked around her room from where she lay in bed, "what in the Unnamed God is a flying monkey?!"

"Beats me. What in Oz is the Life Café?" Boq said from the chair he had fallen asleep in after wheeling Nessa back to the room after a night of drinking.

* * *

Will the friends ever find out they all had the same dream?

Who were those others?

Where did Elphaba learn to dance?

Why is Fiyero with Elphaba and not G-a-linda.

"Yacko, Dot, time for bed." Wacko called from the doorway where the glow of the TV cast in alternating shades of blue.

The TV announcer interrupted—"This is the final episode of 'Ozilly'. The show has been canceled."

_**A/N- **As promised:_

_By order._

_Life Cafe&The Bohemians- RENT_

_Do You Have a Flag?- One of Eddie Izzard (my favorite commedian)'s sketches, that's the title of it._

_I claim this planet in the name of Mars. Isn't that lovely?- Marvin the Martian_

_Pinky and Brain- Pinky and the Brain (what are we going to do tonight? The same thing we do everynight. Try to take over the world!)_

_Nicky, Rod, and 'If you were gay'- Avenue Q_

_Yacko, Wacko, and Dot- the Animaniacs_


End file.
